I was going to do a clothes post but it's Halloween! Tonight is not the night for mere mortal clothing! So, I present-
The Flintstones 2010 I realized we kind of modified it. Bamm Bamm is actually Barney and Betty's kid, but we couldn't really find all the costumes together. We couldn't even find a kids size Bamm Bamm costume and instead bought a full sized man's costume and Greg's mom took the fabric from that and made Jack's outfit.
If This Outfit Were A Song-
Obviously!
AAaaaaand my outrageous surprise costume will have to wait another day. As dreaded, I just couldn't get the waist to fit right so some other time, some other diet.
I hope you all have a fabulous Halloween. It's been a blast this week and I'm quite sad to see it leave us as fast as it came. Still, I hope to see you all again soon and more.
I skipped yesterday's fashion post. Just wasn't feeling up to posing or choosing something and instead opted for lounging and playing "Scene It" with the family. Fun Fact- I will OWN anybodies ass on Scene It. But I still suck at bowling...
On to today's outfit- I dressed for the memo I got. It read something like this-
Dear Tucson folk, Guess what? NO FALL FOR YOU TODAY! Enjoy the 81 and up temps today bitches!
Always (disappointing), Mother Nature
So that's why I look a bit more "summery" than I'd like.
Outfit details- Shirt, plaid blouse and shorts- Buffalo Exchange Beret- Target, as seen in last post. Sandals- Sam Edelman, found at TJ Maxx bracelets- All gifted, beaded one was made for me by a friend (on left arm), the bangles are from India via Greg's grandmother's travels and the metal peace bracelet is via my MIL.
If This Outfit Were A Song-
Happy Hallows Eve to all! I may or may not post something truly outrageous for tomorrow, but it'll take some balls and the ability to fit into something I couldn't last week, so we'll see! Stay tuned...
Greg was out the door early and I had woken out of a much too blissful sleep (for once, with minimal tossing and turning) to really get up and get dressed, brush my hair and make myself marginally attractive. Instead I realized it was Friday, and that on Sunday Halloween would be here. And I got excited. So excited in fact that I decided to do a post on it. Or rather, I decided I'd open this up for a fun discussion on horror movies. Are you a lover or hater? What's your favorite?
I seem to be the only real horror movie fan in the family, maybe of ALL the family. Greg doesn't like them and will oftentimes taunt me when he finds me balled up in the farthest corner of the couch, wrapped up in a blanket, eyes glued to whatever macabre movie I have found on TV. But there is one movie in particular that I get made fun of for finding so chilling. That movie-
Pet Sematary
I had spent the weekend with my grandma and one leisurely afternoon we visited the library in her Over 55 community. I thumbed through book after book and settled on "Pet Sematary" by Stephen King. I buried myself in my grandmother's couch and read page after page, becoming increasingly uncomfortable, all afternoon. When I went home I had my parent's stop by the video store that was conveniently situated a couple blocks from our house. I had to see it. And I did. And it was good. Good in the way that it chilled me to my core. Sure it was a tad cheesy (it was made in the 80's after all) but it was effective. Ten years later, I revisited the old story and movie that scared me so much as a kid and found to my surprise that it was just as frightening, if not more so. I had picked up a copy at the library a couple years back on a crisp Fall afternoon. Jack was only about 7 months old and Halloween was right around the corner. I sat outside in the library's patio and read it again with bated breath, this time looking for what could have scared my foolish 11 year old brain and what I found was even scarier- it was freaking out my 20 year old brain! That Stephen King is a genius in that way. Taking childhood fears (the loss of a pet) and parenthood fears (the loss of a child) and wrapping them together and burying them under your skin. It gnaws at at you. It makes you think. After I read the book (which is one of my favorites, due to both writing and effect) I was left paranoid for a good week. Clutching Jack closer, watching his every move in case of any unseen (and largely imagined) accidents. Walks became nervous events, with me making sure Greg was on one side of the sidewalk and I was on the other because "cars Greg! Fucking cars are everywhere!" *From one of the more unsettling scenes in Pet Sematary.
"Ugh! Stop reading that book!" "I did!"
Eventually I got over it but the fact that it had such an effect on me made me mark it as one of the better horror movies out there, cheesy or not. Because like the cover sleeve of the book warns- "As the story unfolds, so does a nightmare of the supernatural, one so relentless you won't want...at moments...to continue reading...but will be unable to stop."
And that is why Pet Sematary is my favorite horror movie.
It has been playing a lot on AMC and if you haven't seen it, I recommend checking it out. And I HIGHLY recommend the book for even more effective chills.
So! What's your favorite horror movie? Why does it freak you out?
My rabbit ring's comrades Deer and Opossum/Fox looking creature (my MIL and I prefer Fox looking creature) Owl is absent due to pen ink getting all over him. I'd also like to note that Deer could in fact be used as a weapon against muggers and drunk chicks while out on the town. Pssshht, and people say I'm not practical. Outfit Details- Shirt, shorts, tights- Take a wild guess? I bet you the answer starts with a Buffalo and ends with an Exchange. Beret (not raspberry, but it'll do)- Target Shoes- Frye, found at Ross for a BOOYAH! price.
1. I look pregnant in a couple of these. I can assure you I'm not. Plus, I'm not nearly as cute as some of our pregnant fashion week participants. WOMP Womp woooomp. 2. I don't like to smile that much in pictures. I'm convinced my smile is too "gummy" and cheesy. 3. I find it weird that on the day I deliberately decided not to use any bronzer (I'm actually pretty pale so it helps me seem less...anemic) my camera makes it seem like I've been hit with a Jersey stick.
For some reason I appear slightly more tan than usual. And hand pictures are awkward, I look like I have man hands here. Oh! And the dress has pockets. I just realized my fingers look chopped off in the first pic, but I just have them in my pockets, kinda.
Outfit Details- Dress- Anthropologie, but found via Buffalo Exchange for waaaaay cheaper AND it was still brand new, tags still attached. Cardigan and shoes- Buffalo Exchange Tights- Deja vu from yesterday. Necklace- Thrifted Bunny ring- H&M (comes with a set of other animal rings) Filigree ring- My grandmother
I was going to postpone this until the end of Emery's Fall Fashion Week, but since the coffee is coursing it's way through my body (which has been coffee abstinent for about a week, so it's really potent this time around), I figured why not now.
I love fashion. Whatever "fashion" means to you. Fashion may be a brighter cardigan. It may be a vintage dress or crazy accessories. It might be bigger buttons or bows. It may be written down in Vogue or just in your own imagination. For some of us who tote diapers around, it may just be changing out of the everyday sneakers. For me it started in my Drama class, sneaking upstairs into the costume storage closets and playing in flapper dresses or gowns belonging to scripted southern belles and costume jewelry. Allowing pieces of clothing to change me into a vixen or an intellectual. Once I realized the power of that, I was hooked. Some people say fashion is "vain" or "pointless" and to that I laugh in their face. What an ignorant statement. Fashion is in everything whether you realize it or not. Whether it's practical or avant-garde. And it's transformative. It can change the way you walk, the way you move. It can turn heads, ignite thought, it can tell stories without the lifting of a pen. And it HAS stories, woven in fibers, handed down with love, scented with reminisce. There can be comfort or dominance. Yes, fashion is powerful and hardly pointless. And one of the things that makes it most un-pointless, is the fact that every time Emery has hosted a week of fashion, be it Spring or Fall, I see tons of women flock to one another and offer up positive, love filled comments. Some of them complete strangers! Vain? How about uplifting?! How many of you have felt a rush of excitement in the last two days? How many of you were brought new ideas to experiment with? How many of you grew a little closer to your mate (most of us have relied on our partners to take our pictures) through this fun experiment? How many of you have found new voices from newfound friends?
It is more than merely slipping on a pair of tights, it's falling into a world of possibility and that is what fashion is for me and I hope for many of you as well.
So, I raise a mug (I'd say glass, but at 10 a.m. that would probably mean I'm an alcoholic) to our lovely host or hosts if you are also participating in Rebecca's Good Wear Days segment for bringing all of us together and thus producing all of this positive energy and excitement. Thank you for this.
Let's try this again shall we? This time I have recovered from the weekend but not the lack of adequate sleep (Greg and I have been tossing and turning all night for the last five nights it seems, and my hips are acting up so I can't lay on one side- screw you clicking hips!). I jumped out of bed at 6, since I grew agitated at trying to fall back to sleep, got in the shower and raced as fast as I could to get ready (this is why I have the hair up in braids, it's still wet, but I LOVE rocking the Heidi braids) before Greg left for work and I was left without a photographer.
*Also, it seems my hips aren't the only things acting like an ass around here, our camera is being a shit. I cleaned the lens and it's still throwing out crappy images, all fuzzy and kind of out of focus. Sometimes it works great and other times I just have to accept that I'm going to come out a fuzzier version of myself. So I apologize in advance and steam in jealousy over those of you who have fancypants cameras!
Tuesday looks like- *I spilled coffee on these shoes awhile back and thought they were ruined. It took some serious scrubbing but they made it, thank god, because they're one of my absolute favorites. That's the power of Oxy Clean. I wanted to add a scarf but but Greg liked it better without it, BUT if I wanted to mix some patterns here's a bit of a peek of that idea- Outfit Details- Dress and shoes- Buffalo Exchange Cardigan- Target Belt- Forever 21 Tights- Simply Vera by Vera Wang (best tights I've come across so far! I've had these for about two years, ran them through the washer countless times, worn them tons and not even a snag so far. HIGHLY recommend.) Scarf that didn't make the cut- Dad, another item I stole back in high school (I was a weird kid).
I hate starting Fall Fashion week off on this foot, all haggard and lacking of much thought, but I guess this is real talk. We've had a long weekend here. Saturday we ran Jack around the park and I attended Black Cherry Burlesque's Halloween show downtown where I proceeded to take in gimlets and burlesque magic (seriously, everybody needs to go to at least one in their life). Sunday we drove 2 hours out to Willcox to go pumpkin picking with some of Greg's co-workers and later that afternoon it was off to the in-laws for his grandmother's birthday, something we were all looking forward to and are very grateful for (she has cancer and has decided, after last year's rounds of chemo, that she won't be doing anymore treatments). Our time is never guaranteed, but thankful for it we are.
So! Today's outfit is purely for comfort and a house cleanin', laundry doing, resume updating, tea sippin', horror movie watchin', pumpkin' carvin' day. It's raining outside as well, so there's that. *Here you can see the little tears in the upholstery on Bets (short for Betty, yes, I'm a Mad Men fiend, a FIEND I SAY!). We found her by the dump and just couldn't let her sit there so we adopted her and one day, new upholstery will be in the works. Sweater- Vintage Dior, stolen from my dad's closet in high school. He actually bought it for my mom and she wore it a lot when she was pregnant with me. This is one of my most beloved pieces of clothing and it's cashmere so it's like being wrapped up in unicorn wishes and kissed by the backs of baby rabbit ears. Shorts- Buffalo Exchange Mukluks- Urban Outfitters Limp hair, tired eyes(I was tossing and turning ALL night), oil production out the yang and STILL stuck on lipstick (that stuff really does outlast)- Three pinot grigios, two glasses of champagne and three gimlets. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Jack wears- Huggies (he had just woken up).
Here's some pics of the aforementioned pumpkin picking spree. Our stupid camera lens was dirty and I couldn't tell from all the sun. So pardon the crappy quality.
If today's outfit were a song (sorry about the stupid 3 sec. sound clip the precedes the song, I didn't realize it was there until I posted it.)-
Jack is on my shitlist. My shitlist isn't very full but right now it's looking like-
1. Jesse Kelly 2. The people behind Mad Men for leaving me with that OMG ending and then just taking it all away for six months. 3. The people that made that new Snuggie commercial in the "Macarena" tune. 4. Jack
Once you have kids you look for the next stage eagerly and maybe slightly wary. When he was born I wondered when he'd roll over and smile. When he was rolling over and cooing I wondered when he was going to crawl. When he was crawling I...you get where I'm going with this. And then I thought "the 'Terrible Twos' are probably coming up". But they didn't. For the most part Jack has been pretty awesome and he'd left Greg and I thinking we lucked out, we'd bred a jerk-free baby. And then, over the last couple weeks we meet the new Jack. This Jack whines for things like apples or juice and when I'm happy to oblige him, the second I hand them to him, he throws a fit, for whatever reason. This Jack SCREAMS at us. And let me just say there are normal screams and there are Jack screams. These screams would make an overhead jet look down and say "dude, what the hell?" If I could make a car alarm with Jack screams nobody would have to wake up to vacant parking spaces. I'd call it "The Car Jack- Keep your car from getting Jacked". Or something like that. I digress. My aunt told me that three was the worst. And I think I'm starting to see it unfold here. And I'm unfolding. Everyday Greg walks out the door to go to work amidst "I love you's" and "see you soon dada's" and everyday Greg walks back in the door to find this- Name: Amanda, Cause Of Death: Toddler
Just the other day I broke down. It just got to me. The constant screaming, the on-the-floor-ain't-nobody-gonna-keep-me-down tantrums, the time outs every other hour. Then Greg comes home and gets to deal with a broken woman AND Jack and by the end of the night we're just shell shocked and eating cheese danishes (because that's the only pleasure we can derive from the day) and saying this. Since I spend 80% of the day with him, I get to be the asshole of the two since I have to take on the majority of discipline.
So that's been the haps with Jack as of late. I just needed somewhere to vent. That is all.
Let's perk this up with some links?
Getting ideas for my Christmas shopping already. For my friend with the dark sense of humor and appreciation for Mad Men I present this and this. Now I'm considering deeper colors. This song got me up and going this morning. Beyond cute snack/lunch boxes for moms on the go. I want this for somewhere in our house, preferably on a shelf. I need this (or something like it since evidently it's sold out). I'll explain my thing for wolves (and the next tattoo that will involve one) soon.
I hope you all your fine selves have a happy Friday. Can't wait to see what everybody has cooking for Emery's Fashion Week! See you soon.
I have a serious problem-
This was full less than a week ago.
Anyway, along with my outstanding candy consumption skills my procrastination skills seem to have cropped up again. I'm my own worst enemy in that respect. I *could* be writing a blog of substance. I *could* be looking at more job options (I've already got the ball rolling on that even though I still technically have a job, but still...I COULD be doing more because I know I can). I *could* get back up on that exercise routine. I *could* switch into a different pair of lounge pants instead of the ones I've been rocking for the last two days*. I could be doing a lot of things but have instead been searching for decent horror movies to watch, drinking tea and lallygagging out the yang. It's starting to find it's way into my guilt receptacles, I think that's why I decided to post something, ANYTHING today.
So! Here's another mix. It was inspired by this-
It's 56 degrees, rainy and overcast. I live for days like this.
See you back here for Fashion Week!
*I lied, it's been 3 days.
**I realize I posted "Heard Somebody Say" by Devendra Banhart on my last playlist, but I've just been so stuck on it. It makes my stomach feel funny like when a song is in your dreams and you wake up and realize it was on the radio. Plus, I'm crushing pretty hard on Devendra these days (the IUD threw out the extra estrogen that bogs me down and has replaced it with my previous high school teenage hormones. It's been a happy place), I mean c'mon-
If today were the 60's and I was single, I'm almost certain I would have been a groupie/lovechild maker.
There you have it- a blog about rain, Jelly Bellies, procrastination woes, music and being a hoe in the 60's. If you were to talk to me on the phone on any given day the result would be almost exactly like this post. So there you go.
Last night while selecting my bedtime movie (some people drink bed time tea, I need bed time flicks) on the instant section of Netflix, I noticed "Babies" was available for instant viewing. I figured "why not", the cinematography is beautiful, it's not too intense so it won't leave my brain all wired and unable to sleep and there isn't any dialog so Greg can fall asleep (we have opposing bed time routines- he likes peace and quiet and I come from a previous habit of leaving the TV AND the radio on in cooperating volumes, I suppose I'm afraid of too much silence). And then it happened...
The Cooing.
"Ooohhh. Awwww. Oh my god babe, the Mongolian baby is looking at this rooster all like "WTF?!"
And there were moments there where I caught myself and thought "bite your tongue woman! Can you hear your fool self?! NO. MORE. BABIES."
But...maybe?
For a long time I've firmly planted the idea in my head and everybody else's in a five mile vicinity that I will not be having another baby. "One is enough!" "Only one college fund to think about!" "I'll only be 40 by the time he's full on in college. We won't be too old to start traveling!" "I can't go through another pregnancy." "I'm afraid." "I'm not adequate enough."
Last night I also watched "Kramer vs. Kramer" and there is a scene where Dustin Hoffman was told by his lawyer to write out a pros and cons list to see if having full custody is REALLY what he wants. We find him quickly filling in the cons section. And when it came to the pros, when he found himself stuck, he walked into his sons room and held him. And that's what parenthood is. Easy to mark the cons, but so trivial compared to the feeling. There was no need to fill in the pros. It is unwritable, only lived. The smell of their hair. Their weight in your arms. The world in their face.
For awhile now I've wanted a little girl. I love the boy I have, sometimes I'm even more partial to boys, but for some reason I can't get this imaginary girl out my head. With her curly brown hair and happy eyes, with her wild laugh and her heart changing grin. I want Greg to have a daughter. I want Greg's parents to have a granddaughter.
But I know gender isn't promised and I know I should be happy with whoever I get. And so I remain paused.
I'm not going to toss the IUD out of the window (there's a lovely picture!) next week or even next year. We have things to get more in order. Babies are expensive. Babies need space and time and more than that babies need parents who are ready, especially when those parents know the effects of being unready, even with the blessings they bring.
So, maybe I'm softening around the edges when it comes to the internal (and external) baby debate I've been having with myself for awhile. Maybe there will be four pairs for shoes lined up by the door in a few years. Who knows. At least, right now, I'm not as scared.
The last time I posted one of these, I found myself pretty amused by the way my dreams tend to play out.
Here's a real life, early morning conversation-
Me: I had a dream I had a pet baby dinosaur and he could kind of talk. Greg: Really? What kind of dinosaur? Me: Like a T.Rex hybrid or something. Greg: What did he say? Me: Well, he was sleeping in my bed, like a dog*, and then he was all "go potty!" So I let him outside. It was kind of cool. A dinosaur pet that is potty trained... Greg: Maybe he represented Jack? Me: Nah, because after he did his dino business in the yard, he climbed the neighbors fence and chased their cat.......maybe it DID represent Jack...
* I like how I specified that the dinosaur was sleeping in my bed, like a dog, in the event that one might assume I was having relations with a dinosaur. I can't go about my business knowing people may be thinking I fornicate with prehistoric creatures. I can't rest on that.
*This isn't meant to be mean or attack anybody for their choices or beliefs, I tend to accept them all. This is more about how I feel about this topic, and I'm very much understanding to those who DON'T feel the same. I hope anybody reading this keeps an open mind.
I was driving home the other day when I saw a sign that sort of irritated me, though it shouldn't have since I've seen them all over, countless times, past and present. That sign-
Vote Pro-life.
What upset me about it wasn't the fact that I'm pro-choice. It wasn't that I think pro-life is wrong, because I don't, I get the argument and when it came down to decision time I chose to have Jack. What upset me is what happens before and after pro-life.
It's all fine and dandy to say "don't kill those precious babies!" But what about after they're born? What about the conditions of schools, foster care and orphanages these days? It just seems, and I'm sorry if I offend anybody, Pollyanna-ish to simply assume that IF a woman actually does choose to have her baby that that babies life will go on to be happy and productive, simply due to the fact that it was born.
What about the fact that so many of those babies are born into poverty? What about the ones born to resentful parents? What about ones born to addicts or abusiveness?
What pisses me off is not that people want these babies to be born, be it because of their religious beliefs or feelings. What pisses me off is that if they want these babies to be born so badly, shouldn't they take a good hard look at the system and start changing THAT first?! Shouldn't we be equipping young women with knowledgeable sex education programs so they can learn what to do to avoid having to make the decision of whether to walk into an abortion clinic or not? Shouldn't adoption be slightly easier for those who want it and can provide it, REGARDLESS of sexual orientation for the women who don't want an abortion but for whatever reason cannot raise a child? What about all the judgement for the mothers who have to get on some sort of government assistance to help feed the child she was told so feverishly not to abort?
I write this in the aftermath of Teen Mom's season finale. I watched these young girls struggle so hard to provide for their children and I feel for them because I was there too. I was 19 when I got pregnant with Jack and just a week after my birthday he came into the world, child of a 20 year old. And I consider myself lucky. Lucky to have support all around me, no matter my choice. Lucky that Jack has such adoring grandparents and a father who wanted him. Lucky that Greg is here, by choice, and lucky that he has a job that can support all of us.
But not everybody is as lucky. Certainly not everybody has that luck to help them in deciding their futures or that of their unborn children.
Until the system is changed, until the world starts thinking a little bit more about the greater good instead of just "what sounds right", I'll continue to vote pro-choice. Because not everybody has the luxury of lucky situations. I'll continue to support the women's choice, no matter what it is.
** I could go on longer about this, but I'm choosing to cut it off here. I'd like your opinions. I'd like good, productive conversation and opinions. This isn't an attack forum and all abusive comments will be deleted. I wrote this to express myself and yes, maybe start a discussion or two, but I hope all of them start and end with patience and understanding.
Well, I survived (regarding the previous post and all the driving/running around)! There were a few minutes there where I thought otherwise, but I did it. Friday morning was the calm before the storm. I was feeling confident and ready but by 2 I was losing my steam. I really don't know how Syd managed to stay so calm and collected throughout the day arranging outfits, models, music, rehearsals, hair/makeup, etc. I was getting an ulcer just from the traffic on the way up to the show! I thought I was busy, she had to do all that PLUS everything I was doing! What a woman. I don't have any pics yet, I brought my camera but it ended up sitting in the bottom of my bag due to the mad rush of everything.
But I took pictures of the rest of the weekend- This is my favorite shirt of his. My hair was so filled with product from the show Friday that I just let it stay in it's 30's waves all weekend. There was just no point in fighting it. I had so many people messing with my hair all weekend (even Greg got it into his head that he wanted to braid my hair, an idea he got from Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock) that I just said "no more fingers on or around my head!" I played with hats instead and found them to be a good forcefield.
We discovered World Market was having a rug sale- And paper laterns... Which illuminated my "introspection corner" (which is still a work in progress). Our house is such a hodge-podge...but then, so are we. I like too many things to settle for ONE theme. Now if I could just find a gramophone...
Here's some awesome things I found on the interwebs during my Sunday night "Online Oogling/Fantasy Drafting Of Interior, Clothing and Idea Things"-
Something I've started collecting. I'm going to be the "crazy music box lady"...and I don't care who knows it!
I'm ready to kick our red eye-sore of a couch (it's amazing the things you love suddenly become the things you loathe as time changes your taste)to the curb for something like this.
And a song. They're playing at The Rialto Wednesday and I'm hoping I can make it, but we'll see...
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