Friday, October 22, 2010

Of Nice and Mean

Jack is on my shitlist. My shitlist isn't very full but right now it's looking like-

1. Jesse Kelly
2. The people behind Mad Men for leaving me with that OMG ending and then just taking it all away for six months.
3. The people that made that new Snuggie commercial in the "Macarena" tune.
4. Jack

Once you have kids you look for the next stage eagerly and maybe slightly wary. When he was born I wondered when he'd roll over and smile. When he was rolling over and cooing I wondered when he was going to crawl. When he was crawling get where I'm going with this. And then I thought "the 'Terrible Twos' are probably coming up". But they didn't. For the most part Jack has been pretty awesome and he'd left Greg and I thinking we lucked out, we'd bred a jerk-free baby. And then, over the last couple weeks we meet the new Jack.
This Jack whines for things like apples or juice and when I'm happy to oblige him, the second I hand them to him, he throws a fit, for whatever reason. This Jack SCREAMS at us. And let me just say there are normal screams and there are Jack screams. These screams would make an overhead jet look down and say "dude, what the hell?" If I could make a car alarm with Jack screams nobody would have to wake up to vacant parking spaces. I'd call it "The Car Jack- Keep your car from getting Jacked". Or something like that. I digress.
My aunt told me that three was the worst. And I think I'm starting to see it unfold here. And I'm unfolding. Everyday Greg walks out the door to go to work amidst "I love you's" and "see you soon dada's" and everyday Greg walks back in the door to find this-

Name: Amanda, Cause Of Death: Toddler

Just the other day I broke down. It just got to me. The constant screaming, the on-the-floor-ain't-nobody-gonna-keep-me-down tantrums, the time outs every other hour. Then Greg comes home and gets to deal with a broken woman AND Jack and by the end of the night we're just shell shocked and eating cheese danishes (because that's the only pleasure we can derive from the day) and saying this. Since I spend 80% of the day with him, I get to be the asshole of the two since I have to take on the majority of discipline.

So that's been the haps with Jack as of late. I just needed somewhere to vent. That is all.

Let's perk this up with some links?

Getting ideas for my Christmas shopping already. For my friend with the dark sense of humor and appreciation for Mad Men I present this and this.
Now I'm considering deeper colors.
This song got me up and going this morning.
Beyond cute snack/lunch boxes for moms on the go.
I want this for somewhere in our house, preferably on a shelf.
I need this (or something like it since evidently it's sold out). I'll explain my thing for wolves (and the next tattoo that will involve one) soon.

I hope you all your fine selves have a happy Friday. Can't wait to see what everybody has cooking for Emery's Fashion Week! See you soon.


Althea said...

My day generally begins with a tantrum when I won't share my Fiber One bar. Or I won't have the television on all day long. Or when I want to watch Project Runway online instead of playing Sesame Street videos.

My Milo will be three in March. I understand that this is only the beginning. I also understand that my neighbors likely hate the fact that the only good 'time-out' spot in my townhouse is on the stairs. On our shared wall.
I feel you.
I also would like to own your hair. If that's not weird.

Amanda said...

Ditto. Ditto. Ditto! If Jack doesn't have Sesame or Yo Gabba Gabba he freaks. If he doesn't have MY Special K instead of cereal- tantrum town. He like to "pour" his own milk (I actually hold the handle and he holds the bottom, but to him "he did it!") and if I do it- meltdown.

He'll also be three in March, and I'm scared out of my mind because if THIS is just the beginning...I need...something. Lithium. I don't know.

And thank you!

Jessica New Fuselier said...

Name: Jessica, Cause of Death: 3 year old

I just found your blog thru Girls Gone Child.
And I am loving it. I'm glad to know that other Mother's have Shit List's with their own children on it.

Take Care & I'm following your blog now. Woo-Hoo!

Katy said...

I love this post! hehe! It made me giggle!

autumn said...

So glad you wrote this. My not even one year old kicked my ass the other day.... Thank goodness I had wine on hand.

Chelsea said...

Its funny because if i say to another mom friend "conrad is being SO annoying!!!" They understand, but if i say that to a non-baby-mom friend, i feel like an ass hole. I really love the kid, but he can sure push my buttons....

Thanks for making me laugh. Love your blog!

Happy fashion week next week!