Fashion Week

I've decided to battle the "block" (of the writing persuasion) with a week in pictures. Joining up with Emery at Moms Are For Everyone! (http://emeryjo.blogspot.com/) and a list of other lovely lady bloggers (you can see the full list at Emery's site) I'll be documenting a week of what I wear for Fall!

Currently my AC has decided to cease living (on only the hottest couple days of the month, thanks Tucson!) which has left me in a sort of lackluster state (the only "luster" seems to be coming from sweat). So my first post will probably be delayed slightly until I spiffy up and out of shorts, a bra and a haphazard bun. Heat seems to sap the creativity and general will to wear "real" clothes out of me.

To be continued...

How To Fight Lonliness...

Greg is heading up to Phoenix for a night of guy stuff with his brother, and Jack is in the care of my uber awesome in-laws. We agreed that we all need time to get our own respective freaks on. Something I've needed for a long time. About two years or so long. Or so I thought.

I have plans tonight, I keep reminding myself, because if I don't remind myself the crushing feeling of being alone in this apartment will bring me down. Have I become co-dependent on my family?

I used to be independent to a fault. Always ready to fly off on my own. Take the bus downtown and walk around aimlessly, i-pod to my ears, carelessness to my heart. I hated answering to anyone (and in fact avoided a cell phone for years because of this). I reveled in anonymity. I slept in and ate dinner when I wanted. I shopped by myself and watched movies alone. I loved it all. Fast-forward (very fast) and now I've grown accustomed to always being surrounded by people, by chores, by responsibility, life, motherhood and spousehood. I've catered to so many needs for so long that I've forgotten what it's like to have my own. It's strange, sad and true.

I am not a nomad
I am not a rocket man
I was born a housecat
By the sleight of my mother's hand

Today I'll answer again to nobody but myself. I'll watch movies and eat dinner without being interrupted or pulled at. I'll move at my pace and invent my own time. If only I can stop counting down the hours until little hands and wedding rings come knocking on my door.

When the levee breaks...

Guess who has writers block?!

I'm waiting for "it" to come back. I've tried to force myself into writing before and it never really works. In the meantime here's some music and pictures and a promise that when that flood comes, I'll be here.

Could be a "Totally Looks Like"...

My husband totally looks like Conor Oberst-




Granted, the likeness would be greater if Greg actually donned some brownish black hair, grew up downtown, survived off of gigs at Congress and beans y tortillas. He's much more a hunk of man-meat. I ain't complainin'.

Picks of the Day- Episode 12

I go through stages where I sing this song practically at the top of my lungs around the house. Specifically while doing the dishes, also specifically when nobody is home.

Also, I came across this great entry by the wonderful Ev'Yan (of the equally wonderful blog Apricot Tea) involving "The Proust Questionnaire". So I've decided to take it, as Proust believed that answering these questions revealed a person's true nature (although I believe that a person's character can extend far beyond what they answer on a questionnaire, but hey it's worth a shot!). I enjoy filling out surveys, mostly because my mind, or at least what I say, changes so much based on the day or mood. Without further adieu-

The Proust Questionnaire

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness? Lately I've been having visions of all of my family and loved ones in a cabin, at Christmas time, enjoying each other's company, laughing, eating, sharing. There is snow outside and my son can't stop being in complete wonder over it. I warm my body with sweaters and coffee from ceramic mugs that keep my hands from chilling. I want this to happen so badly soon, that is my idea of perfect happiness.

2. What is your greatest fear? Losing my husband or son. Just thinking about makes me cry.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? When I procrastinate. My fickleness. My inability to just pick ONE thing and go with it. My weakness in bouts of stress or depression.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others? Being judgmental, hypocrisy, entitlement.

5. Which living person do you most admire? I have a few. My grandmothers. One for her work ethic, kindness and generosity. The other for her wisdom and loyalty (and for her stories!). My husband for his honesty and compassion and the way he seems to do the right thing no matter what, he's just true blue. My son for his boldness, a character trait I sometimes wonder if he inherited from my father.

6. What is your greatest extravagance? Make-up sometimes (I've been turned into a Urban Decay and Mac junkie thanks to a friend), making burlesque costumes, but mostly my mind.

7. What is your current state of mind? In need of coffee, somewhat scattered (it is still early) in the way that one is right after waking up where the tail end of your dreams meets the to-do list of your day. Trying to fight its way out of an indecisive fog that has brought on panic in the form of an imaginary clock ticking above my head asking me "where am I going with this?" Enjoying music and its ability to distract me.

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Caution. Too much of it and you can miss out on things.

9. On what occasion do you lie? To protect someone's feelings when I want to say "that band/book/show fucking sucks!" I don't necessarily lie though, it's more so just keeping them from knowing how I really feel.

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance? My nose, sometimes. My stomach (post baby).

11. Which living person do you most despise? I DISLIKE a lot of traits in people these days. But I can't exactly point out any one person without finding 100 more like them and that would waste far too much time and energy than need be.

12. What is the quality you most like in a man? Loyalty and hygiene.

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman? Sincerity and humor.

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse? "Totally", "no shit!", "I love you", "uggghhhhh"...

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life? My husband and son. Together there is nothing that encompasses so many levels of love the way they do.

16. When and where were you happiest? May 2nd, 2009. My in-law's house. My wedding evening. Our closest family and friends, food, margaritas, and love.

17. Which talent would you most like to have? To be an incredible and honest writer.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? My post-baby body (or at least just the little marks that came with it, I appreciate the curves it's given me, I feel more womanly now).

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement? I've yet to achieve it. But I'd imagine it would be a great career to help support my family and sending my son into the world as a caring, smart and impassioned individual.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? Myself, just a little wiser and with the same people.

21. Where would you most like to live? In a bungalow with wood floors in a place that sees seasons and creative people (i.e. downtown Tucson or Seattle).

22. What is your most treasured possession? My grandfather's and grandmother's matching rings. My aunt has my grandmother's and I have my grandfather's.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Having someone precious to you die.

24. What is your favorite occupation? One that would support a family and my freedom to be me. No uniforms too.

25. What is your most marked characteristic? My playlists. Or perhaps the way I see things. People tend to comment on that.

26. What do you most value in your friends? A sense of humor (of all varieties), a sense of self, a good music selection.

27. Who are your favorite writers? T.S. Eliot, Chuck Palahnuik, Doulgas Coupland... but I can find a lot of writers I like.

28. Who is your hero of fiction? Not too sure on that one. I don't really have "heroes".

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with? See 28. But I do really like Marie Antoinette. I read a very well written and in-depth biography about her the fall I was pregnant with Jack. I think we would have really hit it off back in the day. I found out we've got Austrian in our lineage as well.

30. Who are your heroes in real life? See 28.

31. What are your favorite names? Stella, Adele, Jack, Vincent, Alice, Syd, Sadie, Eleanor, Olivia, Ari, Dean, Orion, Paige.

32. What is it that you most dislike? Money. Whether you have it or not, it just causes evil.

33. What is your greatest regret? Not wearing more sunscreen/not wearing ENOUGH sunscreen.

34. How would you like to die? Ideally? In bed with my husband, happy. Or I just don't want to know about it.

35. What is your motto? Just live your life, to put it bluntly.

Picks of the Day- Episode 11

I LOVE this Kings Of Leon song. I'm very much a fan of their older work, they're wonderful in general but their older stuff is just more genuine. Raw and southern boy. I want to take them all to New Orleans and eat crayfish a oysters with them before embarking on a night of debauchery and voodoo women.

In other news-

Jack has decided to ring in the "terrible two's" early it seems, and he is driving me batshit crazy. I don't know how someone so cute and generally sweet and well tempered turns into a candidate for an exorcism at the drop of a hat. This paired with anxiety, trying to figure out what I'm *really* going to do with my life (contemplating majors right now to go back to school), no progress on the burlesque front, feelings of inadequacy/depression and over-all malaise inevitably led to a panic attack/mental breakdown Saturday evening. Greg was in the shower and Jack was screaming and I couldn't get the damned salad dressing bottle to open and suddenly the tears came, and then the sobbing came, and then the curling up in the fetal position on your linoleum floor that needed to be mopped commenced and I'm just glad nobody was there to witness it. It lasted a couple hours and in the end it was cathartic. And on Sunday we rested and I had a very potent margarita and the world went back on its axis. Never underestimate the power of a good margarita.

Here's a picture of Jack before the zoo-

My progeny

Because I can't get enough of his extremely bite-able toes, his wackadoo hair, and his overall awesomeness. Jack, this one's for you!