Long lost honeymoon footage prt.deux

"Great. This is just great. The minute we get a night to ourselves and everything is against us!" I bemoaned. I walked away and looked ahead.

I was at least thankful that the slight overcast kept us slightly more cool than the usual 100+ degree Arizona desert heat and the wind blew my hair in my face disguising the tears.

Being in the middle is always a precarious situation. If you're closer to home you can just as easily turn around and go back. Or if you're close to your destination, at least you have the wherewithal to push on. But there looking at the desert and becoming increasingly hateful of cactus and highway I decided now was a good time to start turning lemons into lemonade. For starter's we would have to start cracking open a couple of our concert beers.


I flipped through my phone and thought of my cousin Jessica. She lives in Phoenix and since we were half way there maybe, just maybe, she'd be able to pick us up.
"Hello?"
"Soooo...guess where we're at?"

And then- "I'll be there in about 45 minutes."

Sure enough, even before the tow tuck was supposed to arrive, she was there.


We decided to wait for the tow truck and an hour later, we were still waiting.

"Screw this. They said they're on their way. They know what to do. I already talked to them. Let's go."

Jess drove us through Phoenix to our hotel where we sat and contemplated what to do for the night. Should we still go to the concert even though we were already running late? Stay here? We don't want her to have to chauffeur us around. This is such a clusterfuck. But Jess insisted we go to the concert. She was free for the night and being the person she is, she sacrificed her evening to make sure our one night in Phoenix went according to plan. Did I mention how much I love my family and how badass they are?
We got there about an hour late (we broke down at 4:30, and the concert was scheduled to start at 6:00. Between waiting for the tow truck in vain for an hour, driving though Phoenix to get to our hotel, check in, drop off bags and drive back through Phoenix...yeah, we were late). We excited the car and were greeted with the echo of "Taper Jean Girl." We made it.



(Not the BEST quality, but were in the middle of a huge amphitheater, AND if you listen closely that's "Arizona" they're playing. Yes. "Arizona" in Arizona).

We stayed for about an hour and when the show was drawing to a close we decided to beat the rush and Jess picked us up. We all decided chicken wings sounded good and headed to Native New Yorker where Greg ordered this-

Why yes, that IS an order of EVERY flavor wing Native had to offer. I had a slightly smaller version and Jess had an even smaller version. We sat and laughed and marveled at the fact that despite the day's beginnings we were all happy at that moment.

Jess dropped us off at our humble abode for the evening-



The San Carlos is a historic hotel in downtown Phoenix. It was quaint and lovely and Mae West evidently stayed in the room right next to ours back in the day. We were going to explore the hotel and swim in it's rooftop pool until Greg mentioned something about "The Shining" (the hotel *seemed* like it could in fact be haunted) and spooked me. I shut us in our room for the evening and we watched TBS all night because "I was tired." When in all honesty, I couldn't get this image-

out of my head. So we called it a night.

The next morning we got up and called the tow truck company to check on our car. Apparently it was still on the side of the highway. Also, this wouldn't be covered by our car insurance. Our morning was shot and we headed back to making phone call after phone call to our car dealership, insurance people, and tow truck trolls. They finally picked up our car only to drop it off at the dealership across town in Tucson, despite us explicitly telling them-"The dealership on the north side. NOT the east. Thank you." They said they'd be charging us mileage and fees for their mistake and after about two or three hours of the most aggravating customer service representatives EVER, we finally got the car in it's right place and thanks to a manager who understood, we got all fees dropped. Persistence people. Don't let people try to shove you around for your money. Car repair was about $750, a big financial donkey punch for us. But at least we were back home and Jack's molars were in and the storm had passed.

In the end it was all about the company. Whether you make it to your destination or not, be thankful for who may be there to see you through, hold your hand and give you hope.

We just may tackle this marriage business. We survived the honeymoon after all.

Long lost honeymoon footage

I realized that I never really touched on our "honeymoon." I figured that could be blog worthy because well, it was our honeymoon and it was a disaster. For starters Jack began getting his molars two days before we were set to drop him off at Greg's parent's house. He had been running a fever and was just overall miserable to the point where I almost nixed the plan because I didn't want to be like "hey wanna take on the responsibility of caring for MY sick baby? It'll be a blasty-blast!" But they insisted so the honeymoon went forward.
The day of we decided to book a hotel, one preferably walking distance to the concert venue (we went to see Kings Of Leon in Mesa). We had beer and debauchery to partake in and in case you haven't heard neither of those things go well behind the wheel. When I asked Greg for the street the amphitheater was on he said "Center." I heard "Central." I typed it in, found a cute vintage hotel and clicked the online reservation forms. Greg filled in the credit card info and only AFTER purchasing one evening at The San Carlos did we realize my SNAFU- "Center" and "Central" are two entirely different words. Words that have about 45 minutes between them. So walking to the venue was out of the cards, as well as drinking if we were to drive all that way. Still we carried on with what should have been perceived as an omen. Because we're go-getters.
We packed up Jack and all of his overnight paraphenallia and our overnight bag o' tricks (change of clothes, toiletries,"concert/holyshitwehaveanightawayfromthebaby" cigarettes, veggie chips, otter pops, and booze). We kissed our little bearer of molars good-bye and headed to Phoenix. We were quite jazzed, riling each other up with a homemade compilation of all our favorite King's songs and eating Wendy's, when suddenly- pffftt..."what the shit!" It was then when I noticed that there was gas, our gas, spilling all along the highway behind us. "Pull over, pull over" I shrieked. We got out of the car and realized that what seemed like just another piece of torn tire on a highway, was actually a piece of metal. I piece of metal that tore open our gas tank leaving us stranded in between our home and our destination. Smack dab in the middle.





"Well...shit."

To be continued...

Picks of the day- episode 3

I've recently discovered this uber awesome website called http://www.last.fm. You go in there and type in all of your favorite bands and they compile a radio station tailored to your likes. They suggest other bands too so I've been picking up some new music on the way. This is HUGE for me. I haven't listened to the radio since I worked at the Marriott and would listen to The Frank Show early in the morning, and that was just because he's usually pissed off and so was I for being awake and driving to work at 6:30 a.m. But to have my OWN little station with great songs one after another really brightens my day. I highly recommend it.

Another thing, or rather person that brightens my day- Zooey Deschanel. How anybody can mention her name without using the word "adorable" in the same sentence is beyond me. Here's some pictures I've found on the aforementioned website-





What? "I want some more of that" you say? Well how about this-






So lovely. Her voice in her collaberations with M.Ward, also known as She and Him are just adorable (See! There it is!) and listening to them gives me the warm fuzzies.



Excuse me, I need to go peruse the interwebs for 50's cocktail dresses and headbands now.

The Big Picture

The picture's far too big to look at, kid
Your eyes won't open wide enough
And you're constantly surrounded
By the swirling stream of what is and what was
Well, we've all made our predictions
But the truth still isn't out
But if you want to see the future
Go and stare into a cloud
And keep trying to find your way
Out through that maze of memories
It all sort of looks familiar
Until you get up close, then it's different clearly
But each time you turn a corner
You're right back where you were
And your only hope is that forgetting
Might make a door appear
Is it your fear of being buried
That makes you so afraid to speak?
An avalanche of opinions
Like the one that fell that I'm now underneath
It was my voice that moved the first rock
And I would do it all again
I mean, it's cool if you keep quiet
But I like singing
So I'll be holding my note and stomping
And strumming and feeling so very lucky
And there is nothing I know except a lifetime's one moment
And wishing will just leave you empty
So you can try to live in darkness
But you will never shake the light
No, it will greet you every morning
Make you more aware with its absence at night
When you're wrapped up in your blankets, baby
That comfortable cocoon
But I've seen the day of your awakening, boy
And it's coming soon
So go ahead and lose yourself in liquor
And you can praise the clouded mind
But it isn't what you're thinking, no
It's the course of history, your position in line
You're just a piece of the puzzle
So I think you'd better find your place
And don't go blaming your knowledge
On some fruit you ate
Because there's been a great deal of discussion, yes
About the properties of man
I mean, animal or angel
You were carved from bone but your heart is just sand
And the wind is going to scatter it
And cover everything with love
So if it makes you happy then keep kneeling
But I'm standing up
Because this veil it has been lifted, yes
My eyes are wet with clarity
I've been a witness to such wonders, yes
I have searched for them all across this country
But I think I'll be returning now
To the town where I was born
And I understand you must keep moving, friend
But I'm headed home
Yeah, I'm going follow the road
And let the scenery sweeping by easily enter my body
I will send this message in code, underground
Through forests and deserts and cities
All across electric wire, it's a baited line
Yeah, the hook's in deep, boys, there's no more time
So you can struggle in the water
Be too stubborn to die
Or you can just let go
And be lifted to the sky

Picks of the day- episode 2

I'm kind of digging this idea lately. I'll pick out a video (or two) and a few things that have caught my eye, be it fashion, people, music, home, recipes, etc. When I have words of actual interest to type, I'll do that instead.

So today's picks- Muses






The lovely Jane Birkin. I mean, if this isn't enough reason to take those scissors to your hair and immediately create some bang-age, I don't know what is!




Iman, to me, inspires grace and class. Her husband isn't too bad either.




Sophia Loren. Period. I don't think I've seen a woman age as well as Ms. Loren. She's made it an art.

That is all!

Picks of the day

I'm feeling a little folksy today, so here you go-











I REALLY want more sundresses and cowboy boots. They seem perfect for 'round these parts. I've actually had the strong desire to take my entire wardrobe to Buffalo, exchange it all and start over. I did it awhile ago when I was pregnant and virtually nothing fit me anymore. I then realized that pregnancy is completely temporary and at the end, after the weight came off I was left with a surplus of empire waistlines and tents. It was an expensive endevour to get my closet back to a semblance of "normal." So I learned my lesson....kind of.

Speaking of changing things up, Greg and I sort of decided to try and omit meat from our diet. I wouldn't say we're going vegetarian because I've tried it a few times and failed within a couple of weeks. I don't want to call myself a vegetarian unless I'm 100% meat-free and I stick to it for awhile. But we'll try. The hard thing is when someone mentions the word "vegetarian" the first thing I think of is "holy fuck, I want an In-N-0ut burger, animal style, NOW!" But when someone mentions the word "steak" I immediately desire garden salads and soup. Maybe if I write the word "steak" in red lipstick on my mirror I can stick to a new meatless mind frame. We'll see.

I haven't been posting anything of substance lately. My mind has been elsewhere especially with this show in but a few weeks. I feel like I'm going to give birth again only it won't be my vag on display with an audience of eager family members awaiting a baby like it's the next Zion. No. This time it will be my rhinestone covered boobs and a crowd of Surly Wench patrons. I guess you can say I'm an exhibitionist.

Giving in to a little high school nostalgia

I recently rediscovered a current friends old blog and she mentioned Brand New, and without skipping a beat I dug them up from my i-tunes. And Oh.My.God. If there was a band that wrote my feelings when I was 15-18 it was Brand New. Granted I was what some would consider now "emo" (what isn't emotional at that age). I listened to a lot of Bright Eyes, Dashboard Confessional, the Smiths and Taking Back Sunday, and by the time I hit the end of my sophomore year I decided to give music of a more indie vibe a whirl. I rejected my "emo-ness" and made an active campaign to forget it. It was just to "juvenile" I said, but who the fuck doesn't feel like a Bright Eye's song from time to time. I know I felt like Conor Oberst was singing my life for a good year or two. Anyway, when I was listening to Brand New, I got dreadfully nostalgic nearly to the point of tears.

I imagined myself in high school and found mental photographs and matched them to lyrics.

My first real relationship that inevitably lead to my first real heartbreaking break-up and insert "Tatou"- "I'm sinking like a stone in the sea/I'm burning like a bridge for your body." I remember I was actually listening to that song when my ex confessed to his infidelity and then suddenly- "your hair is everywhere" (granted that was Dashboard).

My disenchantment and my covering up a broken heart with different boys and Parliament cigarettes. I said "I don't care" a lot. Insert "Me vs. Madonna vs. Elvis".

"I got desperate desires and unadmirable plans
My tongue will taste of gin and malicious intent
Bring you back to the bar, get you out of the cold
A sober straight face gets you out of your clothes
And they're scared, that we know
All the crimes they'll commit
Who they'll kiss before they get home

I will lie awake
And lie for fun and fake the way I hold you
Let you fall for every empty word I say"

Eventually I said yes to meeting my now-husband. Only I was still in "I don't care" mode. I broke up with him for two weeks to get my shit straight. To kill the girl who used and lied and resurrect the one that was there all along. A girl that loves wholeheartedly. I can't say I don't regret that two weeks. I felt like shit for hurting him. I hated myself for the things I said. Insert "The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot".
"If it makes you less sad I will die by your hand. I hope you find out what you are, I already know what I am. And if it makes you less sad we'll start talking again. You can tell me how vile I already know that I am.

I'll grow old and start acting my age. I'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate. A crown of gold, a heart thats harder than stone but it hurts a whole lot and its missed when its gone.

Call me a safe bet, I'm betting I'm not. I'm glad that you can forgive, I'm only hoping as time goes on you can forget.

If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of this state. You can keep you yourself. I'll keep out of your way. And if it makes you less sad I'll take your pictures all down. Every picture you paint I will paint myself out.

It's cold as a tomb and its dark in your room when I sneak to your bed to pour salt on your wounds. So call it quits or get a grip. You say you wanted a solution, you just wanted to be missed.

Call me a safe bet, I'm betting I'm not. I'm glad that you can forgive. I'm only hoping as time goes on you can forget. So you can forget.

You are calm and reposed, let your beauty unfold. Pale white like the skin stretched over your bones. Spring keeps you ever close, you are second hand smoke. You are so fragile and thin, standing trial for your sins. Holding on to yourself the best you can. You are the smell before rain, you are the blood in my veins.

Call me a safe bet, I'm betting I'm not. I'm glad that you can forgive. I'm only hoping as time goes on you can forget."

My god! These rides back to the places that I've come to fear the most are both sad and incredibly hopeful in equal measure. I'm so happy I grew and found myself. I'm grateful for everything I've been through and the things I still have to face down.

"Does anybody remember back when you were very young?
Did you ever think that you would be this blessed?"

"Give 'em the ol' razzle dazzle..."

"How can they see with sequins in their eyes?"

Here's a pic of my almost finished costume for my first act-



The bra goes under the corset before the final reveal and the beaded fringe is designed to drape over the hips. I also have a full fringe dress that I start off in, but I've neglected taking photos of it.

I'll be performing to this song-



And I'm super excited/nervous/onthevergeofapanicattack about it. And if you happen to be in the Tucson area you should check us out-




Because burlesque is for lovers.

If I hadn't had Greg's baby....

I'd knock out a few of this man's.

Ugh.


Heroes - David Bowie

How heartbreaking is this song? C'mon.

"I'm trying to get this all down..."

For some reason I thought of this song today, and it made me kind of nostalgic, kind of homesick even though I've made my own home. Or at least a mock up of it. Maybe one day I'll get that house down there by the Avenue. Maybe then this song won't resonate so loud.