Just because...

I had planned on writing a decent post today but my mind is in the midst of the crash that accompanies excess amounts of caffeine, but at its peak I was flowering with ideas so...they're coming. I've been running all over the place in preparation for a fashion show I was asked to walk in by the lovely Mrs. Syd Divine (if you're a vintage clothing enthusiast it is imperative that you stop by and check her out. She's incredibly knowledgeable and wears things in their full vintage glory!). 95% of the things I attend or am invited to are downtown so I have to commute at least 30 mins, one way, to be there. Which means I spend a lot of time in the car when I have errands to run down there. For instance today I started out the door at
7:30 to drop Greg off- 40 mins.
9:30- Drop Jack off at in-laws so I can drive across town for a hair appointment for the show- 30 mins.
10-11- Drive to salon.- 60 mins.
12:30-1:30- Drive back up to in-laws to pick Jack up.- 60 mins.
1:30-2:00- Drive back home- 30 mins.

SO! Cumulative that is 3.6 hours of just driving. And I still have to pick up Greg in 30 minutes so that will round it out to over 4 hours of driving. And when I'm not doing that I'm taking Jack to the park, doing household chores and trying to get a leg up on preparing meals.

In essence, I need a damn nap.

Tomorrow is looking like so-
Be out the door by 10:30 for rehearsal at 11.
12-2:30- Lunch with the in-laws.
2:30-3:00- More EFFING DRIVING!
3:00-4:30- Sit in hair and makeup.
4:30-6:00- Some down time but not enough to drive back home to see the family so I'll likely be people watching downtown in full 1930's (the fashion show is inspired by Tucsonan ranch women of the 20's-40's) hair and makeup.
6:30- Get ready for showtime.
7:00- Try not to vomit due to nerves.
7:45- Sweet release! Maybe I'll mingle but it's likely that I'll be driving home (another 30 mins) to finally sleep.

Maybe it sounds like I'm bitching too much but I HATE driving. Scratch that, I hate driving with Jack in tow because I get uber defensive. My guard is always up since the cargo I have is precious and if you cut me off you'll likely see the tiny shreds of viking DNA that my grandmother claims we possess after a couple glasses of wine (she once told me we were related to Leif Ericson, I have not really explored her claims). I BERSERK! And even if Jack isn't with me all that sitting makes my sciatica flare up. I'm also-
1. Afraid to drive on the highway (I've only done it once since having my license).
2. Afraid of driving next to large trucks.
3. Paranoid of other drivers.

I wish I could take a Xanax, but I don't think that would be safe.

There you have it. An entire post revolving around traffic. And vikings.




I'm sorry. But to make it up-


Just another Tucsonan waiting for the rain. And no, that sky is not touched up or altered. It's just one of the perks of living in the desert.

They're heeeeere!

Yeah, so they might as well call them High Fructose Puffs but damnit it's Fall! And Halloween is only 26 days away. I opened my window and felt a breeze. A BREEZE! IN ARIZONA! My energy level changed significantly the second we dropped from the triple digits. So to celebrate I got these-

Ever wonder what a pumpkin spice latte would be like in cookie form? There you have 'em.

Hmmm...now that I think of it, the new renewal of energy may not have anything to do with the weather so much as the sugar content going on 'round these parts.

Then again, we're taking Jack here on the 24th for some bonafide pumpkin (and maybe some produce) picking and camera space filling, so there's that to blame as well for the energy/enthusiasm.

Consensus for unexplained happiness- October rocks.

Making a house a home

I was extremely apprehensive about moving to where we now reside. It was on the "wrong" side of town (well not "wrong" in terms of crime or violence, it's actually in a pretty decent part of town where I wouldn't be surprised if many people leave their doors unlocked) for me, it was the "wrong" style, it was just "wrong". And I made it abundantly clear. I pouted on the way up to sign the lease, I didn't smile once while talking to the apartment manager or while touring the area and when we drove back home I fought with Greg over his trying to "strip me of everything I was by moving us to the most uncultured, boring part of town." I made the dramatic scene only a girl voted "Drama Queen" (not in terms of offstage personality, mind you) in her Drama class by her peers could. But we needed to move. We needed our own space (we were living with roomates at the time), we needed to save money and Greg was growing tired of the commute from downtown to the opposite end of Tucson.
It's been over a year that we've settled here. We aren't ready to look for a house again, especially after the first experience and the fact that we just don't want to settle for something we don't like just for the title of "homeowner". And I've still approached our apartment with the same apprehension I came into it with. An unwillingness to let myself care too much for it.
"It's just a place to eat and sleep and bathe in. Why should I really love it?"

But I've noticed I have started to take some bricks out of the wall I built around myself regarding our little abode. Started chipping of pieces of myself and letting them rest where they catch the light.



















I'm still reluctant to drop roots in a place where fines are administered if artistic inclinations are carried too far. But I think I'm softening the edges a bit. Embracing as much of this place as I can instead of rejecting it to the bitter end.

It's not the downtown wooden-floored bungalow that I fantasize about every other day, but for now it's where we live. Where we color, laugh, fight, make up, make food, make music and plans and memories. It's where we find shelter from the heat and rest for the weary. It may not be forever, but for right now it's home.

Fall Fixation- Outfit Three "A Well Respected (wo)Man"

Today's outfit I based on the strong feelings I have for teachers. I've been lucky enough to have a few really amazing ones. Ones that pushed me, ones that inspired me, ones that let me just be me and still embraced who I was. I haven't had many role models growing up but some of the teachers I've had have come pretty close. I've also wanted to be a teacher in different stages of life. I'd love to be a music teacher but I have no technical music knowledge so it would be more like "gather 'round children and let's sit around the record player and talk about the meanings behind Radiohead's songs. Then we'll have a snack." So I suppose it's best left up to those who have a degree or two instead of those whose i-tunes just keep growing. BUT! If I was a teacher (or a substitute) I'd probably wear this to class one day-









If this outfit were a song-

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes! *Edit

As you may have noticed, I've been doing some experimenting (not college "experimenting") with my blog. I needed a change since I've been "blocked" as far as content goes. So here you have "Lullabies To Terrorize Version 2.0", but I still haven't felt "just so" about it so much as "this'll do since I'm hungry right now and I need to go to the bathroom."

Any suggestions?

My main concerns-

1. It's a little too girly as it stands. I'm not against girly, it's just...strange, I suppose, coming from where I was when I first started this blog and the fact that I'm chalk full of unfeminine moments, both in posts and real life.

2. I'm HTML illiterate. Working on backgrounds and fonts and re-sizing for me is like listening a somebody speaking a foreign language and paying very close attention so as to catch any familiar words I may know, and then working with that. It's kind of like-

Grandmother trying to teach me Spanish- "blahblahblahspanishtalkblahblahbano".
Me- Oh! OH! Bano! Bathroom! You're telling me something about the bathroom!*

So there's those concerns.

* I shit you not. Despite having one half of my family speak fluent Spanish (and after two years of Spanish classes in high school), this is the best I can do. I'm what is known as the "runt" of the family when it comes to absorbing languages. Although if you want to know how to make your grandmother blush in French, I'm your girl!


------------------------------------------EDIT------------------------

So I messed around with the html, like a moron, and this is what I got. I want the image that's behind the header to go throughout the page, like a background should, but it seems I'm stuck here. Help!

Bringin' it back

My aunt and I used to sing this song all the time, by her pool in 90's Scottsdale before the status obsessed took over. When our chalk drawings were still on the driveway and 90210 was playing in the living room. Before the dangers of sun exposure and wrinkles and quarter life crisis'. Blue Kool-Aid in plastic tumblers and scrunched socks. Floral rompers and a long braid falling down my back. Rollerblades and the bruised knees that loved them. And waiting for your favorite music video...



And even now after the hair has been cut, whether out of rebellion or suffocation. After the Kool-Aid, now replaced with Smart Water, filtered water, vaporized water. After the VJ's and crop tops. After the chalk and the summers...

The song remains the same.

A post in which I talk about boobs...again.

Yesterday I was pretty amped up to check the mail. You see I've been waiting for my new big 'ol crushes to come in and I had plans to chill out and eye bang some kiwi hotness while laughing my ass off. But I also got this in the mail-


Well, not this per say but it's current September 2010 cousin.

And at first I just looked at Greg and thought "fucking jerk." But then I realized it wasn't him. It was addressed to me after all. But I don't shop at VS.

They had found me.

And so, given that I had time to kill I flipped through the thing and here is my impression of how my brain works whilst reading a VS catalog-

"Maybe I should work out more. I need to do some serious crunches. Maybe I should grow my hair out even longer. Maybe I should be sexier? Maybe sexier comes in a V-neck in heather grey. You ass that's not sexy. I wonder if I'm bisexual? These ladies are pretty hot. I wonder if I should toss this before Greg finds it. Who the hell sits on a chair like that? Maybe I should molest my furniture more? Maybe I should do some squats. Like right now. I bet half of these chicks are from Sweden. Why have half of my Swede genes alluded my thighs/stomach and ass so?! Well, those boots are actually pretty cute. Maybe my bangs aren't doing anything for me. If I see PINK on somebody else's ass one more time! Why aren't you working out? $45 for boulder holders? I'm hungry."

And this is my brain on bras. Any questions?

I'm hungry.