Thursday, September 23, 2010

A post in which I talk about boobs...again.

Yesterday I was pretty amped up to check the mail. You see I've been waiting for my new big 'ol crushes to come in and I had plans to chill out and eye bang some kiwi hotness while laughing my ass off. But I also got this in the mail-

Well, not this per say but it's current September 2010 cousin.

And at first I just looked at Greg and thought "fucking jerk." But then I realized it wasn't him. It was addressed to me after all. But I don't shop at VS.

They had found me.

And so, given that I had time to kill I flipped through the thing and here is my impression of how my brain works whilst reading a VS catalog-

"Maybe I should work out more. I need to do some serious crunches. Maybe I should grow my hair out even longer. Maybe I should be sexier? Maybe sexier comes in a V-neck in heather grey. You ass that's not sexy. I wonder if I'm bisexual? These ladies are pretty hot. I wonder if I should toss this before Greg finds it. Who the hell sits on a chair like that? Maybe I should molest my furniture more? Maybe I should do some squats. Like right now. I bet half of these chicks are from Sweden. Why have half of my Swede genes alluded my thighs/stomach and ass so?! Well, those boots are actually pretty cute. Maybe my bangs aren't doing anything for me. If I see PINK on somebody else's ass one more time! Why aren't you working out? $45 for boulder holders? I'm hungry."

And this is my brain on bras. Any questions?

I'm hungry.


Juli said...

Haha they found me too! And damnit I have shopped there a few times now because of it. Evil hot girls!

Miss Wendy said...

Love it!! That kinda sounds like my thoughts when I see a VS anything, except I use a lot more expletives.

Maggie May said...

we share the same brain.

Chelsea said...

You're too cute.

Half of those girls are totally air brushed anyway..... Thats' the sad thing. They look so sexy but it's all an illusion.

I think you're hot just how you are.

Fawn and Flower said...

And at first I just looked at Greg and though "fucking jerk."

Ha! I would do the same thing.

It's all smoke and mirrors anyways. I mean, they can make the models look as perfect as they want, I don't mind any of that. But when it comes down to it, I'm still going to be fighting over a bin of underwear at the semi-annual sale with some old lady in Dr.Pepper-stained sweatpants.

Amanda said...

@ Fawn and Flower- Best comment evah! Seriously made me almost spit my coffee out. You're awesome.

You're all awesome! I'm glad other people share my sentiments about airbrushed jubblies.

Molly said...

That was frickin' funny. I dodged VS in one of my moves and I can't say I'm too sorry about that. Now, if only I could dodge the porntastic TV commercials.

Fawn & Flower is right though, Vicky has a kick ass semi annual sale.