I posted a retrospective last week in a sort of last ditch effort to put something out. It feels like lately I just don't have the words and with blogging it's kind of your deal to have The Words.
I've had A Year.
This year I watched my baby grow into a child. I listened to him sing and take on the world, no longer peering behind me. I've had to learn when to let go and when to hang on, the push and the pull of parenthood. This year I came into myself a bit more as a mother.
This year I lost some people special to me. Some gone from this world on a whole, some simply gone from my zip code. I've felt alone, here and there. This has reminded me to cherish the people that are present, and to remain in the present.
This year I became single again. The tan line on my ring finger has blended in with the rest of my skin. In getting divorced it feels as though a large part of myself has died and is still waiting to be reborn. I'm hoping 2012 brings a little bit of that.
This year I've found a comfort in friendships and a gratitude for them that I cannot fully express.
This year I pulled myself out of a job I loathed and put myself into one that, so far, I love.
This year I survived. I adapted. Even when I thought I wouldn't, couldn't.
I'm looking forward to 2012 but I cannot say that 2011 was all pain and heartache. I am grateful for it, for making me more resilient and focusing my gaze.
Goodbye 2011, I'll send you a postcard.