Wednesday, August 17, 2011

A lot

I've been swamped, stressed, down, up, every which way it seems these last few weeks.

For some reason the job has been grating all the wrong nerves and left me so worn and angry that it took a small breakdown with my coach, complete with tears and me having to run to the bathroom to wipe away the snot that was becoming very persistent, to set me back on my axis. My PMS runs wild and it runs deep. Or I'm just stressed the fuck out and have decided that blaming it on my womanly hormones seemed like an excuse everybody could agree upon.

The truth is, this line of work is just plain sad sometimes. I work in a call center and have to deal with A LOT of angry people. People calling in already filled with venom, people who tell me their life stories, people who have decided to purposely call in to make ME pay for their bad mood. Most of the time I'm good at separating myself from it all. But after awhile it got to where their bad moods started making me question what type of company I was in that would make someone so angry and then it spiraled into me vilifying the place on a whole and then getting jaded. Because I'm an idiot idealist and believe that everything should be fair and the world just doesn't work that way. Also, if I want to continue to be paid, biting that hand that feeds is not recommended. So now I'm just an idealist on the weekends.

Alongside that is the fact that Greg's grandmother is dying. How many weeks or even days she has left is unknown. It's been weighing on my mind a lot lately. Post to follow.

Jack is in his Tyrannous Threes, as I've dubbed it, and if you guys think two is had better stock up liquor NOW because at the end of the day you'll likely feel like a three year old is THE BEST birth control nature could create. And it is. I won't be removing the IUD any time soon.

I'm trying to stay focused and positive as best as I can these days because if I don't the level of depression I can fall into is hard to get out of without some sort of crisis.

SO that's where I'm at right now. Just a quasi-brief explanation of where I've been these days. Maybe now I can get to posting something of value.


wonderchris said...

Sometimes it just helps to let it out. Hopefully, things will start to clear up and overall just be better very soon!

Althea said...

I"m with you on the threes...Many times I have felt like a walking advertisement for birth control. I want to have #2 now and get this childbearing crap over with.
Sorry to hear about Greg's grandmother. Slow deaths are never easy. My grandfather had one - it sucked.
Hope things get easier for you soon sweetie. Sending positive energy from Chicagoland.

Katy said...

Crying is totally acceptable for no reason. we're women. it happens. and it feels SO good. Hope things get better. I'm a nurse and can totally vouch for people taking their frustrations out on you when your hands are tied and you're just the punching bag. I'm right there with ya and it SUCKS!

Molly said...

Man-o-Mango it sounds like you've got a full plate right now.
I've worked in a call center before and I found it to be a thankless job. Hang in there!!!
I'm so sorry to hear about Greg's grandmother. Hopefully writing about it will help you process it some.

alicia said...

it's definitely good to cry it out every once in a while. & if you (& the fam) every just need a break you should come visit us! we could drink margaritas by the (my parent's) pool and bitch our sorrows away. :) or we can definitely come visit & chris & greg can jam out with rock band while we drink. (either way, drinking will be involved.) just a thought.

p/s: I'm sorry to hear about Greg's grandma. you all will be in our thoughts. <3

No Model Lady said...

So sorry you're job is getting to you. Happens to the best of us. If nothing else perhaps it will help you focus on what you really want to do?