These last few days I've been feeling guilty for finding anything pleasurable. The after effects of Saturday still find themselves lingering in my head. How could it not? I live a stones throw away from the scene. I was reminded of it today as I was driving from the park with Jack, grievers and flowers lining the corner in my rear view. And though I can't stop thinking, though I wake up from nightmares of guns and empty arms, I realized today that I could only do one thing-
I refuse to be allow the fear consume me, make me fear or doubt everybody's motives. Living well is the best revenge. Keeping the memories alive and holding Tucson tighter is what will help heal us.
So, I have given my moments of silence. I have cried, held in the anger, wondered why, prayed, hurt. I won't forget. But I also won't hold myself back. None of us should.
"I wanna see you be the one whose first light
Harbours in the new day
And see you settle into yourself
And never be afraid"