I tend to be a weekend warrior. But this weekend sort of bludgeoned me with its own club.
Starting Wednesday (I know it's not the weekend but I was off so I counted it)-
If only I would have just taken the cracked windshield that we woke up to that morning as an omen. But no, I wanted to be all positive-like.
I had a fitting to go to downtown for a fashion show I was walking in. I dropped Greg off at work, made my plans and decided I was going to carpe diem the crap out of that afternoon. Just as I started thinking about all my grand plans (fashion talk, take Jack to lunch, just the two of us, go to the store to get ingredients for an awesome meal, etc)BANG!
I got rear ended. Luckily it wasn't my fault and luckily the impact was extremely light. Jack wasn't hurt, I wasn't hurt, the other driver wasn't hurt so all was well. Except for the the car. Now we have an ugly ass dent and scratches on the bumper.
While I was waiting in the heat of the afternoon with the asphalt wafting more and more heat up my legs and with my patience whittling away, I realized I was now over an hour late for my fitting due to handling the accident.
I made the fitting though, tried on about six pairs of jeans whose buttons and zippers refused to meet each other thanks to recent case of bloating. Jeans:1, Self-Esteem:0. And instead of my leisurely lunch date with Jack and the meal I had planned to shop for, I realized I had JUST enough time to battle rush hour traffic to pick up Greg from work.
After we pick him up I call the insurance claims lady and start looking for a pen to write down all the information I need. I find one on the side of the car door and start writing until I feel a warm, slick and sticky liquid. The ink had spilled out all over my hands, new shirt and new jeans.
And I still had to go to the store...
Greg and I start arguing for whatever stupid reason, likely my mounting anger and inability to cope with it at the moment. And then, right there before the deli and in-store Starbucks the glass ceiling broke. I just started silently bawling into my ink stained hands. And I didn't want to because I thought everybody is going to think it was all Greg's fault. That he was an abusive asshole making his wife cry in a public place and "god, what a mess that girl is!" So I tried to stuff it all back into my tear ducts and nose and moved on.
SO there was Wednesday for you. If we hadn't had new episodes of Big Love to take the edge off I....just...thanks Big Love!
Friday I walked in the Preen fashion show, it all went well and it was fun.
Saturday morning we went to the same store I had my petite meltdown in and this time I didn't get ink all over me, no that would be too easy, I ended up bleeding through my denim shorts, courtesy of Paragaurd. Because the joys of being a woman are just so vast...
Saturday night I went out to say goodbye to a dear friend of mine. All of us had planned to make the night great and it just unraveled. Starting from when I got stuck under an underpass for over 15 minutes, being unable to find a parking spot, pedestrians being unable to find their heads that were misplaced so far up their asses and ending up late to meeting up with my company. And when I say "unraveled" I mean unraveled. By the end of the night, after the string of events which I don't have the time to write about I walked out of Congress and "it" just got to me again and there I cried in between Congress and Broadway as hipsters departed and strangers paired up to make erotic mistakes. My friend and I didn't even get to say goodbye.
Sunday I got a phone call from work stating that I was no longer on the schedule for about two weeks. Times are tough. Sales are low and only the super experienced need apply or work. I've been training for two weeks (I'm the only server they hired without any serving experience) but right now they need people that absolutely know what they're doing, who wont have even one minor fuck up. I guess as it stands- I need to start applying for other places. Unless I can convince the other manager (the one that hired me is leaving and she was my main cheerleader) to keep me, I'm even offering to come in on my own time, unpaid, but it looks like I'm done.
And this morning I was informed I was cut from the Tucson Fashion Week line-up. I was supposed to attend a vital rehearsal but couldn't due to the obligations I had with the job that will likely not be mine anymore.
So there we have it. And it's going to take me awhile to put a genuine smile on. I had been feeling so lucky lately and just when I started giving thanks and feeling happy or proud it got pulled from under me. I need a win, just once.
In the meantime I can make jokes, because if I don't laugh I'll cry.
Maybe I'll go to Barnes and Noble and pick up this-
And if that doesn't work well, then I'll just listen to this
And just let the rain come down.