Friday, February 26, 2010

Sugar and Spice and Please, Don't Do This To Me Hormones!!!

No sooner then after writing about Jack's upcoming 2nd birthday did I start getting those pangs. I think many women will know what I'm talking about when I say "post-toddler pangs". Those lingering thoughts about having another baby once you realize that the first is no longer infantile.

Exhibit One- I had a dream a couple nights back about being pregnant again. I was a lot smaller this time around, and apparently through powers of osmosis I knew what I was having despite not having a sonograph. It was another boy, smaller and with black hair. It was Super Bowl Sunday and everyone in the waiting room was eating chips and dip and cheering while I waited for stronger contractions.

When I woke up I started my period. This leads me to believe this wanting, these dreams, are merely my hormones saying "you know, you COULD make a baby again."

Exhibit Two- During a recent trip to Target I walked by the children's clothing section and saw a pink tutu, upon which I looked at Greg and said "I want a little girl." This leads me to believe I'm going batshit crazy.

I DO NOT want another child. At least not right now. I tell myself and others that it's just not going to happen. That I'm soooooooooooooooooooo not ready for a second, especially when I wasn't even remotely ready for the first and that it's a miracle that I even have any maternal instincts.

But somewhere, whether it's in my ovaries or my heart...

Jack and Stella? Jack and Adele? Jack and Alice? uterus needs a swift kick in the face.


Adriana said...

ohh jack and alice are so cute together. i know what you mean tho i already ahve moments where i think i want another one. and then i snap outta it. not yet anyways.

celebrittany said...

awww, i totally love little girl stuff. except i think i'll probably fight over it all with my future little girls.. because i really kinda just want it for myself still. is it so wrong that i want a new barbie?

Amanda said...

@ Adriana- I love Alice as well. I think it has a nice ring with Jack. I want a little girl so bad if there is a next time. I know he will be her knight.

@celebrittany- Nothing wrong with wanting a new Barbie! I saw the new 80's rocker girl ones they put out (Cyndi Lauper, Joan Jett, Debra Harry) and I lost my mind. I want one so bad!