Friday, January 16, 2009

Taking back some days

Something in the air has been sweeping up nostalgia dust, whisking it under my nose, and politely saying "bless you!" as I sneeze all over the place. Its an odd sort of feeling to be perpetually adjusting while simultaneously thinking of days past. Sunday I managed to tag along with my roomates Chris and Alicia (thanks so much by the way!) to see Taking Back Sunday at the Rialto.

I was amazed at how fast lyrics I hadn't sung along to in years suddenly found their way back to my memory. Listening to 'Cute Without the 'E'', I wondered just how many times I listened to said song back in high school, scribbling bad poetry, lovelorn and young. It was sort of a catharsis to jump around to music I thought was so 'me' 5 or so years ago. I sang for the 15 year old me. I danced for the 20 year old. After the show I got to meet Adam Lazzara.

In a soft and sweet voice, he thanked us for coming out. I thanked him for his music and told him I had been listening since high school.

"Now I just feel old", he said.

"Oh, come on, how old are you now?"

"27"."Pffffft. Thats not old. My fiance is I just feel like a weirdo."

We all had small talk, took a pic, said goodbye, and went home. As I walked through the door, still buzzing from a great show and meeting a singer whom had sung me the tune of my adolescence years ago, I was quickly greeted by the wails of my upset son. I made him a bottle, fed him and put him back to bed.

I looked at his face and was in awe at how fast time goes by and sometimes how slow. At how so much has changed and yet stayed the same.

I'm sure Adam may have felt old talking to me, the idea made all too much sense as I cradled my 8 month old son. It was a funny, grounding sort of feeling. I wondered if one day some girl would listen to Taking Back Sunday and identify with the lyrics as she thought of Jack. I wondered if Jack would be like those boys, those 'dime a dozen' boys. I promised myself I would try my best to raise him otherwise.

I hope it works out. I owe it to the 15 year old me, and the future ones whose hearts deserve to be unbroken.

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