"I want you so hard...

....it hurts sometimes."*

Seriously.

All I ever talk about these days is how badly I want a bull terrier. When I say "I ache" for one, I'm quite serious, there is a literal ache in my heart for one, its bizarre. This obsession started a year or two back, Greg and I were walking around the mall, when we stopped by the pet shop and there was a little girl bull terrier in the window. It was instant love.

"How much is that doggy in the window?"

"Oh, $1,200. But you can pay monthly installments."

My heart broke. I was saving up for a car, and it was crucial that I buy one soon as my independence and sanity relied on it. But oh, had I had it in me, I would have ran (yes RAN) to the nearest ATM, drained my bank account, all nine months of hard earned cash from my full time job as a spa attendant, and that puppy and I would be together as fast as I could slap those Benjamins on the counter.

Greg saw that gleam in my eye, and pulled me away before I could do anything rash. I looked back at that white egg headed princess in her cage and promised I'd be back to visit.

A week later I found myself at the mall again, walking as fast as I could to the pet store to visit Her. I passed by all the other eager puppies without a second glance. Rottwieler- "whatever." German Shepherd- "borrring". Siberian Husky- "she's probably wearing contacts, no dog should posses eyes that blue." Shitzu- "pussy." ...

I looked and looked, and she was gone. Sold to the highest bidder.

I left the pet shop that day crying (I'm dead serious). It's been awhile, and though I got over the initial heartbreak of realizing that money actually did buy happiness, MY happiness, MY bull terrier, the want still lingers.

Greg has promised that once we get our own place and Jack is big enough, I can get one. I hold him firmly to his word, and pretty much remind him everyday.

So until then my sweet egg headed lovies...until then.

*Yes, I do realize that writing a love letter to bull terriers is a tad melodramatic, perhaps even uhhmm 'psycho', so I apologize if you've wasted your time reading this whole thing.

-Amanda