Cliche Resolutions Post, Party Time, Excellent!

Yesterday I joined a friend in utilizing a 7-day pass to Bally Total Fitness and we took a Zumba class. If you aren't familiar with Zumba take latin dancing, through some cocaine on it, lots of hip and leg movements, tribal dancing and masochism. It looks like this, except our instructor was faster (if I recall correctly she said she had been doing it for 12 years and was in the Air Force), harder and maybe a dominatrix on her off time.

My body is giving me a talking to this morning but I'm glad I did it. They say an hour of Zumba burns about 500 calories, but that didn't really matter to me since I had already negated that by drinking a grande green tea Frappuccino prior to the class.

I digress.

The thing about the class though, is that it made me think about making some resolutions. And I figured since I'm here a lot I could stick to them better. Hopefully.

So here they are- Amanda's List Of Resolutions

1. Not feel like I'm torturing myself when I take a Zumba class. Which is to say- exercise more. Last night was more of a wake up call as to how out of shape I am. It was embarrassing and I want to change that.
2. Drink about 50x more water than I do now. It's really a no brainer. I've been getting better at it by just not buying soda or juices but occasionally I slip and go on a Hansen's Mandarin Lime bender. It's really unfortunate to watch my husband see me slip into a sugary spiral of empty calorie consumption.
3. Start collecting for my store! This one will be fun, but it means that what I'd usually spend on treats for myself will have to go to the store. But I think it will be worth it.
4. Take the blogging to a whole new level. I'm perpetually inspired by so many blogs and there's really no reason I can't fulfill my own desires to have my own unique place in the blogosphere. This means sitting down with one of my computer savvy friends and creating Lullabies To Terrorize 2.0. Set your VCRs to "stun".
5. Call and write people more often. I'm kind of embarrassed about how much I rely on technology to keep in touch with loved ones and friends. Sure I keep in touch but it feels more superficial. I want to pour my heart into everything more. I think the results will be better and my life will feel richer for it.
6. Submit an opinion piece to the Tucson Weekly. People have been telling me I should do it for years but I've always been too...something. Meek, scared of rejection, unexperienced. No more. I'm perfectly adequate and I can only get better, so I need to start taking some leaps if I want to get anywhere.
7. Become a better cook. I know I could survive on spaghetti almost entirely but the world, and my family, think differently. And since they deserve the best, that means a more well rounded wifechef.
8. Take the clothes out of the dryer on time. The dryer isn't an expensive laundry basket where you pick out shirts as needed, Amanda. Realize this now!
9. Try to communicate more effectively with Greg. At best we are on the same wavelength about 75% of the time. At worst we are oil and water with fire on top, fire usually fueled by my temper/tone (I'm usually very soft spoken and consequently I haven't quite learned how to use an assertive tone without it sounding angry and combative, it's always one extreme or the other so I need to work on that).
10. Find Devendra Banhart. Marry him. I already got clearance on that from Greg (even he has a dude crush on him I think, or appreciation, I don't know what you'd call it in dudes terms).
11. Ease up on the coffee.
12. ....Nevermind. I think I'm going to need coffee to deal with a lot of these.
13. Bust out the camera more.
14. Bust a move more.
15. Put more in savings.
16. Pet more animals. It really is calming.
17. Have more jam sesh's with Jack.
18. Use more patience.
19. Use less salt.
20. Smile more at strangers.

I think this is a good start. I'm usually not a resolutions maker but I felt I should break out of the box this year, which is really what this whole list amounts to anyway. Breaking out of my self-imposed comfort zone and shaking it up more. Not expecting results with minimal effort and actually making efforts. Great efforts. Looking for goals instead of waiting for them to find me. Being less pessimistic because lets face it, I've done it for 23 years and it hasn't really done too much for me other than providing bitter punchlines.

"Lets fuck it up boys/lets make some noise."

I hope you all find yourselves in a New Year of prosperity, whatever that means to you. In relationships, in creativity, in family or jobs. I wish you all the love and happiness in the world. Goodbye 2010. It was nice knowing you.

Because sometimes I like a challenge...

So. I got a random idea for the ol' blogstead that either derived out of one too many glasses of Christmas pinot or one too many hours of boredom (what the hell did I do before my time was consumed by my sons Pacman-like time suckage?!) or maybe a dastardly combination of the two but here it is-

I want to start a 30 Day Challenge every month. Something new, something different, all documented here every painstaking inch of the way. I've come up with three ideas thus far-

Month 1- 30 Days Vegan- Because I've always wanted to and I have a lot of moral support and knowledge (my friend Colleen has made the venture into full fledged veganism months ago and has a library of books and knowledge and I'll be interviewing her and including videos) to help me along.
Month 2- 30 Days Running- Because I've never quite been a runner but I've also never quite been as unhappy with where my exercise has gone these days (hint- down the shitter).
Month 3- 30 Days of Sexercise- This one I am most interested in because I actually think it may be the hardest. Pun unavoidable. I think it will open us up as a couple in communication and intimacy and I'd like to include interviews about the progress of that challenge as well.

Those are the first 3 that I came up with and I think it's a good start. All of these will be challenging and hopefully interesting for those of you who come with me on the journey.

Please don't sue me Morgan Spurlock. I swear I didn't try to rip off your idea. Plus all you'd get out of us is a collection of Wes Anderson movies, a decent couch and a lifetime of harassment from an obviously odd woman.

Anyway, I hope it works out well. I'm thinking about starting up come January and I'm kinda jazzed.


Now, any recommendations for the next months?

*Also, this blog isn't going to turn into a 30 Day Challenge only blog. I'd still be posting the usual musings along with whatever challenge is that month.

My cure for this blustery day

I actually wrote a legitimate post but it started going down a Sadfuck McGee route so I started poking about youtube in search of music videos to post and I stumbled upon these which pretty much made my morning and fed my Devendra habit (that was a really long winded sentence)-





It's in three parts but totally worth it if you want to see some funny ad libbing and that face.

That one time I had a Joanie rack...

Awhile back I found a picture my camera must have been holding in it's memory card and when I saw it I had to laugh and reminisce. And post it on my blog for all posterity.

I've always been on the smaller scale when it comes to boobage. I watched all my friends fill out bras and all the other girls get asked out and there I was rocking a 38A and then, eventually, a 34B. So I relied a lot on humor and wit to get me through high school dating. When I got pregnant the first thing that reacted were my breasts. And it wasn't until I saw this pic that I remembered just how much so-


Christmas Eve '07 (with my in-laws). I was almost 7 months here. Notice the fact that my collarbone and my boobs have started to move in together.

And that was the time when I got to know how Joan Holloway feels.

Wedding Revisited

In my last post Chelsea left a comment that made me think "hmmm, why not post a bit about our wedding?!" I did shortly after we got married, but I love revisiting things. I think we change so much that we always look at things with different eyes and it's fun to compare and contrast (I would have chosen a different hairstyle and taken more time on my makeup, would have changed and added more songs, different shoes, etc). I didn't post much about my wedding because it was a really low key affair. There were no photographers (my aunt came and agreed to photograph everything she could with her trusty Nikon). There were no DJ's, mostly because I simply wouldn't allow it. "I'd take care of it, that you very much." We thought food was of the utmost importance so we booked a Mexican food buffet and called it a day because if you don't like Mexican food you aren't human. Plain and simple. My wedding plans probably looked like this-

Mexican food+music+endless margaritas&booze= happy happy joy joy

So I did all that and called it a day. I didn't even pick out my own dress. My mother-in-law found a lacey white sundress at Saks one day and bought it just in case and I approved and it was done.

Anyway, I made a playlist of some of the songs off our wedding soundtrack and I figured I'd share it here. This is an extremely edited version, since the actual playlist was over 7 hours long. I picked everything and arranged it based on what would be going on at the time. I had more low key, relaxed music for dinner, some more upbeat music for after dinner drinking and socializing and more dance worthy tracks for after all those margarita refills. So here you go-

"Ladies And Gentlemen We're Floating Through Space" was used for the procession. I didn't want the traditional wedding march and I felt like this was a decent alternative. It's pretty and it has a modern waltz sort of feel.

What were your favorite songs from your wedding? Or do you have any songs you're hoping to use for a future wedding? Share your stories!

Bittersweet Symphony.

This weekend I watched from the back of our Centennial Hall as one of my dear friends graduated. The procession played and suddenly I felt myself getting a little emotional. It shocked me a little bit and I tried to brush it off as a mere spike in my menstrual cycle. But it wasn't. I always cry at things like this. Graduates with their square hats marching formally down the line. Brides greeting their grooms. Babies being placed on the chests of their mothers. No matter how often I think I've hardened myself to life and its cycles, think I've seen it all by now, I know it's all merely defense. Inside my heart is perpetually breaking and being filled back up. Stitched and kissed and overflowing. Waves and hurricanes.

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

I watched a class of students embark on something new. And I cried for the parent in myself and for my own parents that never got to see their daughter turn that tassel (well, a tassle that wasn't spirit glued to her breasts). I watched those caps and gowns and wondered where I would have fit in. If I would have made it had I truly believed in myself. Had I pushed hard enough or not gambled on a pipe dream. Spinned the bottle and kissed the unknown.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't.
Because, sometimes, you won't.


I cried because of all that potential. All of those people's dreams realized. For now.
"There will be more, and they don't even know it" I thought to myself in the safe dark of the back row.
And there will be. So much.


You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

Whether you've clutched your diploma or a pregnancy test, the feelings are collectively the same. Fear, excitement, newness testing out your balance. Whether you roll the dice or play fair, take your time, we're all trying to get somewhere.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul.
On you will go
though your enemies prowl.
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike,
And I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

And so, I cried for the unknown. The hope and the places you don't know you'll go. The unmarked paths and revised plans that everyone will be making, taking on. I cried for when the caps and gowns are taken off because with them will be an old shell and on their backs will be a new skin. Different and ready or unready. I cried because I was proud. Because I knew what it was like to be a proud mother and friend. A feeling I hope to feel more and more with time and a feeling I was glad to be let in on that afternoon in that theater hall with clapping hands and bellows of pride echoing from the mouths of families all filled with one thing- love.

"So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
You're off the Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!"




Congrats Tyler*. I'm so excited for your journey.




*Yep, that's my friend in the picture. The picture is via The Arizona Daily Star. Already making headlines.

Totally Looks Like Part 2- Greg's Meth Headed Doppelganger

So Greg and I are watching another disc of Breaking Bad and something looks familiar. It's then that I turn to my left and realize the meth dealing kid totally looks like Greg!

Example-


Dude named Aaron Paul


Husband (in the beige sweater, kind of an older picture but since he is elusive when it comes to cameras finding his mug, this is the best I could do.)

Aaron Paul's eyes are bit more squinty but for the most part I think Greg has an Emmy winning doppelganger. Between this and discovering Jack looking like a toddler Kevin Arnold I've come to realize...I watch way too much TV.