That one time I had a Joanie rack...

Awhile back I found a picture my camera must have been holding in it's memory card and when I saw it I had to laugh and reminisce. And post it on my blog for all posterity.

I've always been on the smaller scale when it comes to boobage. I watched all my friends fill out bras and all the other girls get asked out and there I was rocking a 38A and then, eventually, a 34B. So I relied a lot on humor and wit to get me through high school dating. When I got pregnant the first thing that reacted were my breasts. And it wasn't until I saw this pic that I remembered just how much so-


Christmas Eve '07 (with my in-laws). I was almost 7 months here. Notice the fact that my collarbone and my boobs have started to move in together.

And that was the time when I got to know how Joan Holloway feels.

A post in which I talk about boobs...again.

Yesterday I was pretty amped up to check the mail. You see I've been waiting for my new big 'ol crushes to come in and I had plans to chill out and eye bang some kiwi hotness while laughing my ass off. But I also got this in the mail-


Well, not this per say but it's current September 2010 cousin.

And at first I just looked at Greg and thought "fucking jerk." But then I realized it wasn't him. It was addressed to me after all. But I don't shop at VS.

They had found me.

And so, given that I had time to kill I flipped through the thing and here is my impression of how my brain works whilst reading a VS catalog-

"Maybe I should work out more. I need to do some serious crunches. Maybe I should grow my hair out even longer. Maybe I should be sexier? Maybe sexier comes in a V-neck in heather grey. You ass that's not sexy. I wonder if I'm bisexual? These ladies are pretty hot. I wonder if I should toss this before Greg finds it. Who the hell sits on a chair like that? Maybe I should molest my furniture more? Maybe I should do some squats. Like right now. I bet half of these chicks are from Sweden. Why have half of my Swede genes alluded my thighs/stomach and ass so?! Well, those boots are actually pretty cute. Maybe my bangs aren't doing anything for me. If I see PINK on somebody else's ass one more time! Why aren't you working out? $45 for boulder holders? I'm hungry."

And this is my brain on bras. Any questions?

I'm hungry.

Picks of the day

I'm feeling a little folksy today, so here you go-











I REALLY want more sundresses and cowboy boots. They seem perfect for 'round these parts. I've actually had the strong desire to take my entire wardrobe to Buffalo, exchange it all and start over. I did it awhile ago when I was pregnant and virtually nothing fit me anymore. I then realized that pregnancy is completely temporary and at the end, after the weight came off I was left with a surplus of empire waistlines and tents. It was an expensive endevour to get my closet back to a semblance of "normal." So I learned my lesson....kind of.

Speaking of changing things up, Greg and I sort of decided to try and omit meat from our diet. I wouldn't say we're going vegetarian because I've tried it a few times and failed within a couple of weeks. I don't want to call myself a vegetarian unless I'm 100% meat-free and I stick to it for awhile. But we'll try. The hard thing is when someone mentions the word "vegetarian" the first thing I think of is "holy fuck, I want an In-N-0ut burger, animal style, NOW!" But when someone mentions the word "steak" I immediately desire garden salads and soup. Maybe if I write the word "steak" in red lipstick on my mirror I can stick to a new meatless mind frame. We'll see.

I haven't been posting anything of substance lately. My mind has been elsewhere especially with this show in but a few weeks. I feel like I'm going to give birth again only it won't be my vag on display with an audience of eager family members awaiting a baby like it's the next Zion. No. This time it will be my rhinestone covered boobs and a crowd of Surly Wench patrons. I guess you can say I'm an exhibitionist.