My Burlesque Debut

Well, it had been a long time coming. My BFF/mentor/burlesque co-pilot Pisa Cake (also known as Colleen, who you have read about here and there before as my roommate) finally pushed me out of the box I had been stuck in for so long and got me to realize one of my goals. She produced a fundraiser for a local animal rescue which involved my getting to work with a few other amazingly lovely ladies (and one very saucy gentleman) to put on a little teaser of burlesque acts. So not only did I get to realize my goal, but I overcame my shyness AND helped raise money to a cause near and dear to my heart. It was a magical night.

   I have posted this video on my Facebook page since a lot of friends and family knew I was doing this and had wanted to see the footage; the culmination of all their support and kindness with a hobby that sometimes gets it's fair share of judgement (we ARE taking our clothes off after all). But I also thought it necessary to post it here. Because I have written before about mothers and body image and societal roles. Because as much as I have feared my post-baby body it has also made me who I am. Because I SHOULD'T fear my post-baby body and neither should YOU yours. Because I'm proud of myself.

So here you have it, my burlesque debut.

(unfortunately, this video is NSFW)

Stuff For Your Earholes

   I've been meaning to hang some art/get all my laundry done, ironed, hung, organized/exercise/drink more water/be a productive citizen, a stand-up gal, a jane-of-all trades...but I just end up wanting to take a nap and listen to music. Because this year my allergies have decided to run amuck, the weather is sweltering, and this PMS is real. So here's what I've been listening to to stay sane-

"Autotomy" by The Dears
"My Last Mistake" by Dan Auerbach
"Take You With Me" by French Films
"The Downside of Being a Fuck-Up" by Wreckless Eric and Amy Rigby
"It's No Compliment" by Chinawoman
"Six Feet Underground" by The Virgin Tongues
"Don't Look Back In Anger" by Devendra Banhart
"Black Grease" by The Black Angels
"Act Nice and Gentle" by The Black Keys
"My Boy and His Motorbike" by The Carousel

Happy listening!

Poem #4

When the coffee has not licked the back of my eyeballs
When the topography of the brain has turned into foreign lands
I remember their shapes but not their names
I remember the jaggedness and the gray that pricks the inside of my skull
Spindles that hold up a big top where elephants are whipped and after the show eyelashes are put away
I move through the rooms as a specter
And wait for the lady of the house to return

Stella Was A Feline And She Never Made Me Frown

"Jellicle Cats are black and white
Jellicle Cats are rather small
Jellicle Cats are merry and bright
And pleasant to hear when they caterwaul.
Jellicle Cats have cheerful faces,
Jellicle Cats have bright black eyes;
They like to practise their airs and graces
And wait for the Jellicle Moon to rise.” 
― T.S. Eliot

 I can't say I'm the BIGGEST cat person in the world. I don't hate them. I quite like them, in fact. But Stella takes the cake in all things cat related. I have never loved a cat so much. From her following me around the house and watching me clean or do laundry to her near whorish ploys for affection (which we all happily oblige), she brings a joy and comfort that I have apparently found it necessary to blog about.

She steals my boy-

She steals my boyfriend-

    She steals my bow tie-

But mostly she steals our hearts.


Have you kissed a cat today? Happy Purrsday!

Instagram I Am

 So, like many bloggers I have been quite taken with Instagram. Being that I am sans an actual camera and am using solely my Droid Pro to capture moments, Instagram has lent a little bit of magic to an otherwise lame situation. And I have to admit- I'm sold. Done. I'm an Instaddict. Anyway, here's the happenings around these parts (warning- this is a pretty large photo dump)-

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13.


1. A favorite Bukowski poem.
2. Jack gets a sugar rush while we enjoy some margaritas during Cinco De Mayo which was spent in Bisbee this year (or as Jack calls it "Busy Bee").
3. I lust after shelves after pulling things out of storage.
4. I seem to have to trim my bangs fifty times a month lately.
5. An alley/park area in Bisbee.
6. Crafting a lot more now that I've been back in the burlesque swing. I'm even learning how to use a sewing machine!
7. Been missing our long afternoon walks. It's Spring, technically, but in Tucson it might as well be Summer. With temps hitting the hundreds (*takes sip of Arizona Green Tea*) it makes it hard to fully enjoy the outdoors.
8. City Hall, Tombstone, AZ.
9. We took a little day trip to Tombstone and Bisbee last month. It had been awhile since I had been to either and I needed a little getaway from Tucson to clear my mind. The last couple months have been pretty crazy- trying to find a job, putting on a burlesque show (post on that to come!), family in town (which was a great thing), planning more trips out of town (California in June, Seattle in November), etc. I was caught indulging in a cigarette (I know...I know) and letting my head exhale with the smoke.
10. Spring has brought out a little more color in my wardrobe and on my hands.
11. A great little vegan cafe, Poco, in Bisbee. Great food, lovely atmosphere (I could spend half the day in their patio) and, well, I can't wait to go back.
12. Jack on the patio at Poco, patiently waiting for his ONLY If You Eat ALL Of Your Lunch cupcake.
13. Two adorable vintage ceramic deer I thrifted in Bisbee. Their shops up there are to die for! So many treasures and so well priced!

And there you have it.

In other news...

Greg arrived to pick up Jack on an idle Sunday morning.

"Hey buddy!"
"Dad!"
"He just ate lunch. Do you guys have anything planned today?"
"Nah, just hanging out..."

 And a smile sort of creeped across Greg's face. I knew this smile. It was the We Both Have News We're Not Telling Each Other smile.

"Sooo...in the near future, maybe, if you're comfortable with it, I'd like to meet Mr. Zack."
"Yes. Should I meet a Ms. Tristin?"
"Yes."
"We'll set something up soon."
"She's a great girl."
"I know. I trust your judgement."
"You'll like him."
"I'm happy. I'm happy you're happy."
"Me too."

 And just like that, we had moved on. And what could have turned into mutual feelings of being territorial over Jack, concerned or even jealousy, had not even risen. We were two adults wanting the best for our son and, finally, allowing ourselves to have what was best for us and being civil and respectful enough to share it, to WANT to share it with each other.


For the first time, in years, I have never been so happy. I can feel it in my bones. Not just for myself but for him. For Jack. For the future.



"My dearest friend, you'll soon begin to love again. To love again."

Amanda Sierra- A Brief History of Infinite Surliness

1988- Is born. Late.

 1989-1993- Spends a long time "workin' my craft". Motor skills are rocking, but are used mostly for dramatic drawings and talking to stray cats.

 1994- Little brother, Mitchell, is born. The older sister superiority sets in. Overfeeds the fish until they die sad, bloated deaths. TO PROVE A POINT.

 1995-1998- Integrates well in the school system...it's always the quiet ones.

 1999- Buys first CD, it is Alanis Morissette. Bemoans men and their ways despite never having actually had a boyfriend.

 2000- Watches Daria a lot at night. Feels comforted.

 2002- Enters high school. Dyes hair black sophomore year. Develops crushes on musicians (takes a long time to recover from crushes on musicians).

 2004- Contemplates learning the bass. Because fuck diva ass lead singers. Fuck singing. Fuck voices. 

2006- Starts smoking frequently and replaces blood with oil from the tater-tots at Grill (RIP, *pours Dr. Pepper on ground, for ones homies*).

 2007- Goes Keroac on everybody's asses.

 2008- Has a son. Votes for Obama. Goes soft.

 2009-2011- Blogs a lot about going soft.

 2012- Watches Daria, eats a shitload of chili. Drinks a little more.